You press your hand against your heart,
As if you’re trying to stop the bleeding,
As if you’re trying to keep it from falling apart.
Put your hands down,
Take your heart out of your chest,
Wrap it with linen to stop the bleeding,
And cover it with gypsum
So it won’t break twice before it heals.
Now grab a pen and sign it,
“Hey world, I’m ready to be heartbroken.”
We’re riding high on sex and self-esteem,
The childish smell of your breath,
And the rootless confidence of youth.
Maybe it’s simply summer,
And it’s promise of warmth.
While the world is outside doors,
We step inside our own.
I am a home for weary hearts
And a playground for adventurers.
The anchor that stops the ship,
And the wind that pushes the sails.
Like the wind I’ve not a home,
I blow tirelessly from place to place.
And sometimes I lie and wonder;
Can a home find a home?
It grows dull with every kiss,
It loses luster with every embrace.
Your body adjusts to the poison,
And like an addict going through withdrawal,
Your whole being longs for more potent substitutes.
Gambling sanity for bliss,
Trading sagacity for a kiss.
Infatuation contained is bound to burst.
Much like methane, it burns impetuously.
Immaterial but volatile,
Necessary but deadly.
Wasteful to throw away,
Hazardous to let it stay.
Light the tinder and watch the flame flicker.
From ashes to ashes,
From strangers to strangers.
“The guy with the eyes”
That’s how some people would speak of me.
These eyes are mine, but I feel as if they have a life of their own. A reputation and admirers of their own. “Like a knife glazed with heroin” someone once told me, “One slitting stare and I’m hooked.”
I never knew why or how that could be true.
All I know is that these eyes have known too much grief to ignore beauty,
Showered themselves too many times to not be clean of judgments.
Out of all the animals, humans are the only ones with erotic lives.
Throughout our evolutionary history, sex was always either a matter of genetic inheritance or because it was a woman’s marital duty. For the first time in history, we are now looking for sex which is based on pleasure and connection that is rooted with desire. And with that comes eroticism. Eroticism, to me, is sexuality coupled with imagination. We don’t just have sex to reproduce; we also have sex to have a good time, to express ourselves and to let go of our inhibitions. It’s no longer biology, it is an art form.
To sustain desire, we have two conflicting yet essential needs that we look for in a partner. On one side we require predictability, security, reliability and on the other side we want novelty, mystery and adventure. Those are essential for us to sustain desire in a relationship. In the past, our emotional needs were fulfilled by the whole village of people. Nowadays, we want one person to satisfy what used to take a whole village to satisfy. It’s like saying, “I want you to be my passionate lover, but I also want you to be my best friend, my trusted confidant and we live twice as long” to our partners.
It’s too much to ask!
So what can we do to rekindle the flame?
Play with distance,
Don’t be too secure,
Keep a little bit of mystery.
It is one thing to want or to have someone. It is another to want and have someone at the same time.
I’ve been contemplating on this subject for some time now and I urge you to try and take into account this ethical argument as well.
A slut, to me, is someone who has a lot of sexual contact with different partners. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she or he is having intercourse, it just means that they do intimate activities with many people. A whore on the other hand is someone that explicitly asks for anything with monetary value in exchange for sexual activities. Whether she or he sleeps with many partners is not implied. Bottom line, they charge you for it.
What I think is funny is that somehow, society is quite accepting of a slut’s polygamous behaviour - so long as they do it for free. But the moment they ask for something in return, they are looked down upon. Even when they sleep with only one or two partners. The key word here is explicit; because if you’re only implying your shopping wishlist, you’re not a whore. And that technique has probably been around since forever.
At the end of the day, who can say which is more wrong or right?
I was just pondering on the central dogma of religious reward systems while I was sitting on my porch this afternoon, when I came to quite a conclusion.
Buddhism, Catholicism, Islam, Judaism - they all have a reward system. And at the central of every reward system is, well, egoism. Doesn’t matter if it’s Karma or the concept of Heaven and Hell, it still involves of YOU getting a benefit from something you do or not do. YOU who benefits and YOU who enjoys a reward/suffer a punishment.
How come religions never say,
“If you do good things to another person, better things will happen to the person next to you!”
Cause it’s not appealing, that’s why.
And at the end of the day,
I think we all should sit ourselves down and re-evaluate ourselves if we think that we need ancient scriptures written by indescribable authors to tell us to do things when common sense should’ve been enough?
I don’t need the ten commandments to know not to steal or kill. Strip the judicial system off our minds and still it’s human empathy and compassion that would lead.
It’s shameful to think that some of us needed to be scared into empathy and compassion much like we scare toddlers to clean up their toys.
There was once a man,
Whose gaze could make the knees of Apollyon tremble,
And whose voice commanded Leviathan and her broods.
Son of Abaddon,
Prodigy of Incubus,
Wake from your slumber.
You have work to do;
Hearts to consume,
And bargains to fulfill.